Anger & Rage “The Beast Within”

Most people live their lives without the experience of an ever present anger and rage and then there are people like me who seem to experience anger and rage on a regular almost constant basis. At times it seems to be uncontrollable and there is never a
good time for these eruptions it is with me everywhere I go & infects everything that I do. It seems that anger has me by the throat and it is relentless truth be told anger does not have a hold on me it is me that has a hold on anger because of the jackpot payoffs that it provides. First anger is a great cover or substitute for any and all emotions like fear,guilt,frustration and hopelessness it has the capacity the capability of birthing severe extreme discomfort and pain. Number two by using anger I try to block out reality and my circumstances I may unleash my anger towards others who have absolutely nothing to do with my source of hostility. Thirdly anger permits me to experience a much desired sense of control.(when I need to give all control over to The Lord who has the Grace,Power & Compassion to change this angry into a soft,broken & loving heart)

Instead of feeling helpless I feel that I have influence over my life and the lives of others around me this can bring me a little temporary satisfaction as now I feel that I have some personal power. This is a plunge that shows no mercy and into the deepest darkest pit I go. Then I use my anger to climb out of this pit rung after rung,hand over hand I climb all the time attempting to gain control over my own weaknesses. When lashing out in anger I feel justified I am on firm ground I am very familiar with this place when in fact I’m being self-righteous and 180° from where I should be a place of humility & peace. Number four anger and rage or only temporary feelings of power and control the rush of energy is fleeting and the feeling of desolation and despair are snowballing soon to roll me over. Anger fires me up only to rob me later leaving me feeling vulnerable to even more painful underlying emotions. Anger and rage can be very debilitating over time, severely damaging,this self inflicted anger creates depression,self-destruction,self abuse,and yes,dreaded addictions. Even though some anger is normal,long-term and extreme anger and rage or danger signs. I must learn to recognize and prevent these kind of excesses. I must identify and deal with the feelings that are being covered up by my angry outburst. I must make the decision to investigate the motions that I have put aside or even buried. I must ask self what would I feel like if I was not so angry? Why am I so stinking frustrated? Most important I must ask God what is going on,what do you want me to see,and what do you want me to learn? What am I trying to accomplish with this anger and what or the hidden feelings behind this rage? When I make the foolish mistake of entering into a time of anger and rage as soon as I can see or think clearly I must remember that God always makes a way of escape. I close now with this prayer,Father God,please convict me when I become so angry that I offend You and those around me, cause me to see that I have become offensive and abusive to those that I love. Quickened me to repent and move me to Your place of peace and joy. Amen

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